You might’ve heard the advice that there’s no room in a healthy relationship for lies.
There’s a fine line between a harmless lie and one that has the power to destroy the trust you’ve worked to establish with another person.
Romantic relationships are even more complicated because past romantic experiences, insecurities, fears, and jealousy all come into play.
When a lie penetrates the level of trust you’ve built in your relationship, it can lead to deep hurt, crushed expectations, and may even mark the end of your relationship.
If you want to keep your partnership open and honest, there are certain things you should never lie about. Here are some situations where truth reigns:
What you need from your partner
In a relationship, it’s your job to tell the other person what you need out of the relationship. You’re going to get hurt unless you communicate your expectations and needs in a clear, honest manner. If you need your partner to prioritize you more, tell them. If you need more space and alone time, just let them know.
No matter how much your partner loves you, they probably aren’t a mind reader, so by being honest you’ll save yourself some hurt and disappointment down the road. In return, your partner should share his or her own requirements and together you both can build a healthy relationship that gives you both what you need.
Any form of infidelity
This happens to the best of us. Whether it’s full-on cheating or some overly flirty texts or behaviour, cheating can be extremely hurtful. You may have cheated out of stupidity and all you want is to be with your partner, or you may have been motivated to cheat because you’re unsatisfied or unhappy in your current relationship. Regardless of your situation or your relationship’s future, the truth needs to come out.
Take full ownership of your actions and don’t downplay what happened or gloss over your true feelings. It can be easy to cover infidelity with half-truths, but over time you can be almost guaranteed that those details you tried to hide will come to the surface, which will only hurt your partner more. Believe it or not, many relationships survive a
slip up and your total honesty will preserve your relationship’s integrity and provide a chance for a happy future down the road.
Your real feelings
Ever been tempted to tell your partner everything is okay to avoid a big fight? Withholding the truth is just as dangerous as a flat-out lie. If your partner hurts your feelings, you need to let them know. If you don’t think you’re in love with your partner anymore, the truth needs to come out.
By not being open and honest with your feelings, you’ll only build resentment towards your partner, which leads to major problems down the road. When you block off or hide your true feelings, the level of intimacy you’ve established with your partner will suffer. Lying about your feelings only shows your partner that you don’t trust them enough to show your true self.
Your financial situation
When it comes to marriage or even a serious, long-term relationship, lying about the state of your finances can actually be more harmful than lying about an affair. Financial infidelity is the root cause of many breakups and divorces.
Withholding information on finances can breach and break the trust you’ve established in your relationship. If you have a giant inheritance, you should let your partner or spouse know. If you’ve racked up hundreds of thousands in debt, love to gamble, or don’t want to share finances, you should tell your partner upfront.
