Main character energy is a Gen Z term for being the hero of your own life and story.
It is a fitting term for self-growth and development because we all identify with the protagonists in the movies. So how does one begin to channel the Main Character Energy to become the best version of themselves?
Harnessing this energy comes in two parts. There are certain things you need to stop doing and those that you should do more of. Just like protagonists have villains, the things you need to stop doing represent your villain. In this case, these are habits, attitudes, and behaviour that needs to stop for the main character to emerge.
Stop comparing
Start living your life without always measuring up or comparing yourself and what you do/have to someone else’s life and possessions. There will always be someone better or lesser than you in certain ways but that doesn’t take away anything from you or them. It’s just the way the world is built and resources, talents, and luck, are distributed.
Pay attention to your needs, wants, and boundaries
Start showing yourself and others what you value and where you stand. This means being curious about your tastes, preferences, likes, dislikes, challenges, the things you find interesting, and how you feel good or bad. Focus on meeting your needs, protecting your space, and going after what you want.
Put an end to people pleasing
Main character energy is not controlling, which is what people pleasing is. People-pleasing attempts to control how other people see us even though behind closed doors we are someone else. Let go of other people’s needs, wants, and perceptions, that is their issue to manage not yours.
Stop criticising and judging yourself and others
Don’t be the bad guy always putting yourself down and shaming yourself when things go unexpectedly or when you experience your weaknesses. This is one way to keep yourself in the background and that is not how main characters operate. On the other hand, don’t try to control others through criticism and judgement. If you have something productive to communicate, do it constructively or not at all.
Show kindness and compassion
Talk to yourself like the people you love. How would you comfort someone you love? How would you make them feel better? How do you treat strangers and people in general? During tough times, it is pointless to fuel the pain, conflict, and suffering. Instead start offering kindness and compassion to make things a little bit better for yourself and others.
Accepting that times are tough doesn’t mean you have failed or that you will fail. Admit it to yourself by using kind and compassionate statements such as; Wow, I’m dealing with a lot, this is really hard, this sucks, it makes sense that I feel this way due to (insert issue), I need comfort right now, I’m going to take a break from this right now, I’m struggling and it’s okay to ask for help.
Follow your kind and compassionate words with appropriate actions.
Give up on trying to be perfect
Do you know that part in the story when the main character lets go of trying so hard at something and finds something better? There’s no satisfying perfection because we don’t know what it really is. Perfection is what we say it is or what others dictate is perfect.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable
Connecting with ourselves and others includes opening up by being vulnerable. Although it puts us at risk of hurt, it is also where true and healthy human connection happens. However, you should not be vulnerable with everyone, only those you feel and think are worth it. Vulnerability is far from blind trust, it involves honesty and harmony with ourselves and recreating that with others.
Give up on trying to be normal
If it was meant to be, why is it so hard even with years of conditioning and trying? Lean into what makes you different, weird, or “not normal” and find your strength in those avenues. If you persist on being normal, everything that doesn’t comply with that perception will bring you a host of negative emotions.
Try as much as possible to accept yourself. Take control of your story and person. That is, after all, the essence of becoming a main character.
