Have you been sacrificing your time and energy for something that has no value?
Chances are yes, in one area at least.
Three published authors and self-help gurus give life advice, on Quora, in a run down of worthless behaviour, habits and pursuits that you should give up.
1. Casual relationships
The reward does not justify the time and energy you will invest.
“If that is your goal. Plan to get rejected a lot, to put a ton of work in. Plan on getting really drunk, and having bad sex with someone you’ll probably regret having sex with. A moment’s pleasure, the rush of something new, will quickly be replaced by the persisting paranoia of being caught and the shitty feeling of having cheated on your partner,” says Sean Kernan, author.
2. Expensive weddings and rushing into marriage
“Just don’t. You aren’t royalty. It puts a lot of pressure on you both for the event and the marriage. And if things don’t work out, those expensive pictures will end up in a drawer anyway. Make sure you know the person. It will make it much harder to leave and you’ll end up wasting your best years because you felt too ashamed to get divorced. If it is right, marry the hell out of them,” he adds.
3. You will never regret going to sleep early
“Just because you can stay up late, doesn’t mean you should. Turn off the TV. Get some sleep,” Kernan says.
4. Fix issues immediately
Don’t take a loan out of your life by not acting immediately. It will be too expensive to repay later.
“Doing it later, nothing in this world destroys more potential than procrastination. Self-criticism, let it go. No self-haunting. Criticize yourself once and then correct the behavior. Don’t become your own ghost,” he adds.
5. Reading things you don’t enjoy
You will never regret not reading something you don’t like unless you have to read for work or school.
“Follow the ’50 page rule.’ If a book doesn’t grab you in the first 50 pages, stop reading it. This is why reading for sport, reading just to say how many books you’ve read, is nonsense. One great book you read over and over again is better than reading 10 mediocre books,” Ayodeji Awosika, Author, TEDx Speaker.
6. Reviving old friendships
They rarely come with good intentions, want to recruit you for some scheme or another and they have been away for too long to start catching up anyway.
“Be wary of old friends you haven’t talked to in a decade suddenly contacting you on Facebook messenger. They will try to disarm you with casual conversation until the inevitable sentence arises, “Are you interested in making an extra income on the side?” he adds.
7. Being around someone you cannot have
Do not expect your feelings to fade into the background because you will them to. They will betray you.
“If you feel yourself becoming attracted to your best friend’s spouse/SO, don’t think self-control will win. RUN to the nearest exit and don’t look back,” says Kathy Pennell, Author and Teacher.
8. Sharing secrets
If you have held onto a secret for so long, you can hold onto it longer still. Friendships end all the time, you might regret giving away your secret.
It’s not worth it to tell your current best friend a long-held secret. Your friendship may die, but your secret will be passed on,” she adds.
9. Letting habits slide
You are being told every other day to drop bad habits, why should you tolerate those from others however infrequent.
“A friendship is not worth it if the person makes you feel bad about yourself even if it’s only from time to time,” she says.
10. Love alone is not enough
You have to align with someone who is compatible with long-term values and plans.
“It’s not worth it to marry “just” because you love someone. You must be in agreement/compatible on the major areas of your lives,” she adds.
